Yes, it is for me. Knowing what you want is essential, and yet knowing you want is never sufficient. Knowing what to do to achieve it is critical. The most terrible thing is losing our confidence, losing our direction in living. I’ve got the feeling of lost direction again, and it is severely spreading in the fear of acting improperly in this turning point from graduation to employment. The burden of mine is just heavy. This feeling wouldn’t disappear until I turn the corner, until I reached the destination. But when does the day come?
Once ago, I love writing. Because I found make friends with words are much easier than make friends with human beings. One of the advantages of writing compare to chatting is, we don’t need more than one person in writing. Writing does not require responses. Writing was once my habit to express my feelings, to release unhappiness until the day I get together with Jm. There is even someone says I was getting more cheerful since I was coupled. It is the reason that I stop writing blog, life was cheerful and there was someone to share with. The habit of writing was stopped. But I do not back to writing anymore, although I was separated with her few months later. The reason is simply I don’t even have to mood to do writing. Today, we are not contacted to each other. However, I appreciate all the happiness and sadness given, because every single thing creates ‘Me’ today. Anyway, she is not the topic today. =)
Being over calculative in planning is bad, I know it. As my mother always says, don’t be over planned and planning for the others. Yes, I understand and I just could not get rid of it. It is the same as how much I wish I have a father or brother who plans for my family, plans for themselves. But the fact is not possible. I just don’t even willing to talk about how pessimistic my family situation.
I believe I should learn the ignorance. Yes I should, I will.
How much I could earn so that I could fully bear my family’s expenses? The question I am thinking every single day. My father is not earning for years, my mother is earning few hundred which is not always stable. My elder brother’s contribution to family is not stable. Younger brother is just started his college, four more years to complete his study life.
My very first aim is my mother could stop working. To achieve this, I should contribute sufficiently for my mother to pay my family monthly expenses, which is at least RM 1000. But frankly speaking this is not enough. As my mother wishes to save some money, for my younger brother education fund to go UK for 3 months, or some medical savings, because my family has no savings, insurance. Seeing this, I would need another RM500 monthly saving for my younger brother education saving purposes.
At the same time, we are now staying at rental house still. I could not wait anymore to purchase a double storey house for my family. My mother likes cooking, and enjoys planting vegetables in the spaces beside the house. So I plan to purchase a double storey cornet lot house at Kepong in next three years, which now cost at least RM 600k.
Assuming the same cost (the housing price is expected to continue rising, so the location of my buying house would have to change accordingly), to have RM60k as deposit, monthly should have at least about RM1.5k savings. 3years time will accumulate a total of RM54k, with some riskless investment returns, plus the EPF savings in these three years, the house deposit and loan processing fees should be not a problem.
So add up, the monthly savings is wanted to be RM 3000, and yet getting a RM3000 gross salary also causes me a problem. But I believe this can be relieved slightly, where my expected monthly expenses are RM500. Thus, getting a RM4000 salary would be ideally perfect (This is IMPOSSIBLE, I know it ><), which will have a net salary of RM35++ after EPF deduction, which will accurately cover my monthly expenses and RM2000 savings plan.
But I have to be realistic in real life, so now I am thinking of getting in PBB will have a starting pay of 2.8k, which left 2.5k after EPF deduction. This might still give me 1k savings monthly, giving only 1k difference in saving expectations.
Of course, the thinking of getting over Singapore is still blinking in my mind. Who doesn’t ever think of earning S. Dollar? This is what a lots of Malaysian thinking, I believe. But it is extremely difficult to make it if you wish to take a good position in Singapore, unless you are top among the candidates.
Thinking days and nights, does not give me a good solution. My lord, I know I should not be so calculative in planning everything, which might be in contrast with the God’s aspiration. But what I do is just trying to make my family’s life easier, to release my mother’s burden. Pitying her being difficult for so many years, I am just doing my best to improve the standard of livings, but not doing cheat, or harming any body else’s benefits. God, please bless me. Thank for your leniency, I will appreciate very much.
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